Out of Nothing

I hear it every day from someone new, 'you should get a blog' or 'do you have a blog?'.  I never thought my life was interesting enough for one of these but now that I finally have something to write, I figure its time I do so.  In all honesty there have been so many changes made in my life over the last few weeks that I am tired of telling everyone over and over again so now I'll have them come here!  Lets start off with my blog page name: Ex Nihilo.  Ex Nihilo is a latin term meaning 'Out of Nothing'.  I learned this word as a second year intern at the City Church in Seattle, WA and have been a tad obsessed with it ever since.  It speaks in so many different ways concerning me.  Were we not all made out of nothing?  I am completely in awe when I see that God truly wants to use me when I came out of nothing. I'm not from a wealthy family, Im not a daughter of some well known televangelist, I wasn't taught in a private school learning about God. Im just an ordinary girl from a small town in Oklahoma, the buckle of the bible belt trying to find my place in the world.  Ex Nihilo is my revelation to where God has brought me.  He truly has made me something, where i used to be nothing.

Consider Peter for a moment.  Peter was said to have been very short, high-pitched voice, and bad breath.  People looked at him as a 'least of these' kind of man, unworthy, unknown, yet God made SOMETHING out of his NOTHING and He led so many people to the Lord and was a personal disciple of Jesus.

What about Esther?  A poor jewish orphan, had nothing to offer but was obedient and God made something out of her nothing! She was used to save an entire nation! Moses, a stutterer, timid guy who was used to lead Gods people out of slavery.  God wants to use us all and He wants to make something out of our nothing.

I have felt so useless at times and so small.  I have compared myself to others I knew who have been preaching for years or who have been prophesied to in front of hundreds of people.  I have compared myself to those who are related to someone high up in the ministry and are a "shoe-in" to preach to the world.  A revelation I received after seeing this word was in the words of a song titled 'Majesty' by Delirious.  "Your grace has found me just as i am, empty handed but alive in Your hands'.  This has been a favorite song of mine for years but more then any other line in the song, this is the one that speaks to me the loudest.  God is not concerned by what you do or do not have, but he sees your heart, the very depth of who you are.  Would you give it all to him?

I imagine the lady who gave her two last pennies in the book of Mark.  Everyone was giving so much money and things but she came and gave all she had.  She could have watched all the wealthy people coming in giving so much more then she even had to offer and she could have changed her mind.  She could have allowed the comparison in her mind to hold her back from giving all she had considering it was only a tiny fraction to what others had given but she didn't.  Jesus was not concerned that she had only given 2 coins, he was pleased because she, all though she had nothing, gave everything.  I want to give God all of me, even if its not worth a lot in my eyes because God can make something out of my nothing. I love that.  It shows a complete new spectrum of His everlasting grace.  He truly does love us!


Ex Nihilo,
Ash