My recent adVentura.

About 3 months ago there were a couple of things going on in my family causing me to become overwhelmed, stressed, and anxious.  My anxiety began to take a toll with mild panic attacks that were so haunting I couldn't sleep, hang out with people, drive, or even enjoy life.  I felt tormented to say the least.  I received a free plane ticket to Seattle Wa to get away for a couple of weeks, relax, and visit some friends I missed so much.

The night before I was scheduled to leave, I became overwhelmed with fear of having a panic attack on the plane.  I ended up getting on the plane the next morning and made it to Seattle, safe and sound.  After being there for one week on January 4, 2011 I had made my way to intern prayer at the UD campus.  Wanting to go there to see old friends I was so captivated by the presence of God and as Pastor Mark Venti began speaking to the interns I felt he was speaking directly to me. 'Tell God what you want' he said, 'ask God for the things you desire'.  I asked God for 3 things: Supernatural rest,  His presence to be so tangible in and around me that I could never deny Him, and clarity on what He wanted from me next.

Being an intern for 2 years at the City Church was such a privilege as I had the opportunity to glean from such amazing people and grow in relationships with not only amazing peers but world renown pastors!  One of which would be Pastor Jude Fouquier.  This man is such an awesome pastor, he truly loves people.  He and His wife, Pastor Becky are probably two people that I pray to be like.  Theyre both so encouraging, love God with their whole hearts, and it shows in every relationship, every encouraging word, and everything they do.  This summer the Fouquiers were called to a small city in California called Ventura to pioneer a church. Obviously myself and others who know Pastor Jude and his family would be honored to follow them but cards weren't lining up and I was okay with that.

I enrolled at a community college in Oklahoma to begin my degree in Psychology which would soon lead me to ORU to major in psychology and minor in missions, setting me up to be a minister in some other country (Gods choice) ;].  I had my next 5 years all planned out to the date and I was ready for school to start on Jan 18.  After telling a few people in Seattle my plans to go back to Oklahoma and start school my heart began to feel unsettled.

On Tues, January 4th I had a dream that I was talking to a girl I had never seen before.  I was telling her how God  comes in last minute and changes all of my plans.  'In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps' & 'the steps of a righteous (wo)man are ordered of God' were a couple verses I kept saying throughout our conversation.  I told her that I am fully confident when I make a decision because God always comes in and surprises me if its not His will.  I looked over and there we were, sitting on a concrete wall right along the beach.

I woke up and just began to pray and read my Bible.  I was reading in Exodus randomly and began to tell God that if in fact this dream was from Him that I needed confirmation.  That night I went to GC and low and behold John Fouquier came up to me, gave me a hug, and started talking about how I should move to Ventura.  I was in shock seeing as John and I have probably said 3 words to one another.  I went to my seat, and as church started i began to sing along with praise and worship.  Right away God said to me 'well, thats what you wanted'.  Overwhelmed and so confused I talked to a friend and got some advice, she told me to ask God for a scripture, in that I went to my seat, opened my bible and there it was right where I had left off earlier that day Exodus 33:14 -I will send you there, my presence will be with you, and I will give you rest.

the next few days were a blur as I talked to many leaders, and my parents and was being encouraged and got thumbs up all the way I changed my flight to LA instead of Oklahoma and I am now in Ventura!  I have found a place to live but am now on the search for a job!

God is so great and is so funny how he works things out.  It is truly amazing how He actually does give us the desires of our hearts!

here is what God paints for me everyday. (:
















Oh the adVentura's we have in life.
(:


Ex Nihilo, 
Ash

Out of Nothing

I hear it every day from someone new, 'you should get a blog' or 'do you have a blog?'.  I never thought my life was interesting enough for one of these but now that I finally have something to write, I figure its time I do so.  In all honesty there have been so many changes made in my life over the last few weeks that I am tired of telling everyone over and over again so now I'll have them come here!  Lets start off with my blog page name: Ex Nihilo.  Ex Nihilo is a latin term meaning 'Out of Nothing'.  I learned this word as a second year intern at the City Church in Seattle, WA and have been a tad obsessed with it ever since.  It speaks in so many different ways concerning me.  Were we not all made out of nothing?  I am completely in awe when I see that God truly wants to use me when I came out of nothing. I'm not from a wealthy family, Im not a daughter of some well known televangelist, I wasn't taught in a private school learning about God. Im just an ordinary girl from a small town in Oklahoma, the buckle of the bible belt trying to find my place in the world.  Ex Nihilo is my revelation to where God has brought me.  He truly has made me something, where i used to be nothing.

Consider Peter for a moment.  Peter was said to have been very short, high-pitched voice, and bad breath.  People looked at him as a 'least of these' kind of man, unworthy, unknown, yet God made SOMETHING out of his NOTHING and He led so many people to the Lord and was a personal disciple of Jesus.

What about Esther?  A poor jewish orphan, had nothing to offer but was obedient and God made something out of her nothing! She was used to save an entire nation! Moses, a stutterer, timid guy who was used to lead Gods people out of slavery.  God wants to use us all and He wants to make something out of our nothing.

I have felt so useless at times and so small.  I have compared myself to others I knew who have been preaching for years or who have been prophesied to in front of hundreds of people.  I have compared myself to those who are related to someone high up in the ministry and are a "shoe-in" to preach to the world.  A revelation I received after seeing this word was in the words of a song titled 'Majesty' by Delirious.  "Your grace has found me just as i am, empty handed but alive in Your hands'.  This has been a favorite song of mine for years but more then any other line in the song, this is the one that speaks to me the loudest.  God is not concerned by what you do or do not have, but he sees your heart, the very depth of who you are.  Would you give it all to him?

I imagine the lady who gave her two last pennies in the book of Mark.  Everyone was giving so much money and things but she came and gave all she had.  She could have watched all the wealthy people coming in giving so much more then she even had to offer and she could have changed her mind.  She could have allowed the comparison in her mind to hold her back from giving all she had considering it was only a tiny fraction to what others had given but she didn't.  Jesus was not concerned that she had only given 2 coins, he was pleased because she, all though she had nothing, gave everything.  I want to give God all of me, even if its not worth a lot in my eyes because God can make something out of my nothing. I love that.  It shows a complete new spectrum of His everlasting grace.  He truly does love us!


Ex Nihilo,
Ash